Pauline Goldstein

Fuks: Let’s start at the beginning. Are you from Portland originally or did you move from somewhere else? Tell us about your early history.
GOLDSTEIN: I grew up in Hillsboro; went to San Francisco a year after I graduated from college. I met Gersham a year before that. I was in California for two years, and then we were married. We moved to Cincinnati, Ohio.

Fuks: Ok, well let’s back up just a little bit. What was it like to be a Jewish girl in Hillsboro?
GOLDSTEIN: I’m not an original Jew. I converted when I was in San Francisco. Early aspects of Judaism came from classes, books, and conversations with multiple people. I had a wonderful rabbi and cantor at Temple Beth Sholom in Burlingame, California. I appreciated their teachings. 

So as a Jewish woman it’s been somewhat difficult. Where I’m noticing trouble was I lacked the early childhood information that most native-born Jews would have. But nonetheless I was asked by Leah Rubin at congregation Neveh Shalom if I would be interested in teaching a course to the little kids, preschool, and I was able to do that easily and she appreciated that and I did too. 

Fuks: So Neveh Shalom became an important connection for you – a conduit into the Jewish community?
GOLDSTEIN: When we returned here, yes.

Fuks: So you met Gersham before then?
GOLDSTEIN: Yes, in 1963 we met.

Fuks: This was in California?
GOLDSTEIN: No, this was here in Salem that year. Then I moved to California for two years after that. 

Fuks: Ok, so let’s talk about your early years here in Portland with Gersham and the Jewish community.
GOLDSTEIN: Yes, I think that would be a stronger way to continue the conversation. When we came back from Cincinnati we decided that Neveh Shalom was the congregation that we wanted, and our children were seven and three at the time. Deborah started in the preschool, and Marcus was already in public school. We enjoyed being at Neveh Shalom and having Rabbi Stampfer and Cantor [can’t remember name] but they were wonderful teachers to have as a family.

Fuks: What was appealing about Conservative Judaism, or about Neveh Shalom specifically?
GOLDSTEIN: I don’t think it had to do with Conservative versus Reform versus Orthodox; it was more a family feeling. Who did we feel most comfortable with as our rabbi and cantor? Gersham came from quite a different background which I’m sure he’ll talk with you about. Mine was essentially totally Reform. Yet we settled into the congregation comfortably and found many friends. I was concentrating on raising the children and therefore didn’t settle into any organizational life at Neveh shalom. That was a concern. Your next question.

Fuks: Talk to me about raising the kids. What was the experience?
GOLDSTEIN: We had one child who truly loved to learn. Then our [second child] son wanted to learn in his own way. And because I was an only child, that was difficult – raising a boy. Nonetheless, we struggled and had good times. We enjoyed family life together. He was not as interested in the religious school, and Deborah was fine and happy with it all the time. Neither one of them found it convenient or interesting to join the youth groups which was a concern for me having participated in youth groups all the time when I was growing up. If they had, perhaps their learning and their understanding of life and Judaism would have been much different. 

If I may just follow them for a moment. Deborah, when she returned to the west coast after her college years, was in California and joined a Reform synagogue there and became very involved and was counselor to their youth group and enjoyed that very much and received high praise from everyone in the congregation and the rabbi and education director and others. They did a district-wide program on a regular basis. What Deborah might have lacked or might have not picked up from here in Portland, she certainly found her niche in California and was very comfortable there and enjoyed life.

Fuks: Do you think it had anything to do with Portland or was it just where she was at the time that she was a girl and where she ended up later on?
GOLDSTEIN: It could have been an age thing. I don’t identify that fact that this was Portland verse California.

Fuks: What year was Deborah born?
GOLDSTEIN: She was born in 1972. 

Fuks: [interviewer says something here about how there were three congregations in the Portland Jewish Community then being a different range of choices and experiences.]
GOLDSTEIN: Yes, these days versus that absolutely.

Fuks: Your son was more reluctant about participating in Jewish education and was on his own path.
GOLDSTEIN: Correct.

Fuks: How did your connections to the Jewish community change over time?
GOLDSTEIN: They changed from regular attendance at the beginning at synagogue services. Neither one of us participated in the Women’s Club or Men’s Club. Lake Oswego is a distance away from Portland and the synagogue, so making the trek however many times seemed unnecessary. Yet, when we came here our primary emphasis for our children was a quality education, and that they were getting here in Lake Oswego. That’s why we moved here and that’s why we stayed. 
 
Once they were out of the house. I think our participation dwindled even more at synagogue activities. Until about eight or nine years ago. No, there were other things that happened in between. When Chabad came to Portland, Gersham became very involved with them and that was fine with me. We had become very close to Rabbi Wilhelm and Devorah. Whatever we would do seemed to tend more with Chabad than Neveh Shalom. Then eight or nine years ago, when Rabbi Zuckerman came to Portland, we met with him and felt a very close connection. Eventually we moved our attendance from Neveh Shalom to Shaarie Torah. We still have membership at Neveh Shalom, and we’re involved with Chabad still.

Fuks: You’re a three Shul family.
GOLDSTEIN: Yes.

Fuks: That’s impressive; that’s pretty engaged. Rabbi Zuckerman left Sharrie Torah, but you remained involved with it?
GOLDSTEIN: Socially, I found a welcoming warmth with the Sisterhood at Shaarie Torah which had been lacking at Neveh Shalom, unfortunately. I do social things with them and we are involved with their empty nesters group because we are definitely in that category.

We have never really been regular attendees at services. I was a consistent attender in my former religion. Once we were married and had a home both at the beach and here and it seemed as if God was following us. Wherever we were, He was, and systemized religious services were not always necessary for us to feel as though we were connected to Judaism and the people. We have done multiple things through Federation. Also, the coast has a North Coast Shabbat Group. We attend there often when we are there. So, I guess it is four congregations where we are members.

Fuks: Let’s talk about some of the nonreligious parts of the community. You mentioned the Federation. I know Gersham was very involved in the Federation, but can you talk about your own involvement and what Federation’s meant to you?
GOLDSTEIN: Well, I have not been as involved as Gersham, but I certainly have supported his work there and whatever he has done and volunteered time wise as far as Chabad is concerned also. To put a finger on anything specific I have done…. It’s been very minimal. Not to the extent my husband has. Someone needs to run the house.

Fuks: How has the Jewish community been for you in terms of….Was there any discomfort about your conversion? Were social connections readily available to you? Did you feel comfortable inside the community?
GOLDSTEIN: I would say yes, I did feel comfortable. The one discomfort I felt early on when we were applying at Neveh Shalom, and they had this very intense application form to fill out. Hardly any of which had anything to do with my background. From that standpoint, I just sort of said, “I don’t feel comfortable filling this out.” And Gersham could handle the application and that was fine. I just identified the fact that I will always be slightly different. Dear Rabbi Zuckerman said, “You don’t ever have to discuss this again; that’s just fine. And thank you for sharing.” I didn’t ever have that close a relationship with Rabbi Stampfer, so it was from that standpoint that the situation or the personalities were entirely different. As one ages one finds that whatever it was that you seemed to be bothered by back then are gone, forgotten or lost so you just continue on with whatever you are doing. 

I always felt included in anything that Chabad did and still does. The reaching out by different rabbis I think is something that can be improved upon. 

Fuks: What do you mean by that?
GOLDSTEIN: Well, as a congregation and as boards they want to be inclusive, but the persons that they hire have not necessarily followed that same line of thought. Maybe part of it has to do with the size of the congregation, and they have way too many people to get to know. Perhaps in a couple of instances I noticed that it was. 

Fuks: Do you find that still to be the case?
GOLDSTEIN: It’s not applicable any longer. In that particular instance. I still think that it’s important for a leader of a congregation, whether it’s the president of the congregation or the rabbi, to be aware of all the congregants. If not reaching out, at least acknowledge the fact that here is new person and a new face that they have not connected with yet. At least say hello. You don’t have to have a lengthy conversation or anything else. You don’t walk into a room and aim directly toward someone you do know and ignore the people you don’t know.

Fuks: How has your relationship with the community evolved? How do you see your relationship with the community now?
GOLDSTEIN: I think the relationship has veered definitely away from Neveh Shalom, and more toward Chabad and the coast. Whatever interesting activities or programs are presented, we determine our participation in according to whatever our calendar shows. I’m very appreciative of fact that most of the things Shaarie Torah provides are without cost which is not the same at Neveh Shalom. I’m very happy that there has been such an intense movement in Judaism in the Portland area. They’ve grown a lot since the ‘70s. The size of the community, the numerous congregations that are now available, the opportunity for people of all categories to be included without a concern. “We have something for you. We’re trying to reach out to this particular demographic.” I think there have been struggles but at the same time they are moving forward. The community is enlarging, and hopefully increasing more membership from the younger people. The one thing I have been attending a swim class at the MJCC for a number of years now. It’s been very exciting to see the expanded number of people who are using the MJCC now for their activities. Their program materials that are provided. Having PJA there right in the same building has been helpful as well. I’m pleased to see that for our community. That somehow or another we have reached more people and gotten them to feel as though the center of the community might actually be a MJCC and radiates out from there.

Fuks: It’s great that you have the connection with the J, and it is a really healthy symbiosis with the school. Are there other agencies in the Jewish community that you have connected with in one way or another?
GOLDSTEIN: Not specifically. We have attended various things for Cedar Sinai. Gersham started there as treasurer. But not specifically.

Fuks: What are your hopes for the Jewish community looking into the future?
GOLDSTEIN: It would be nice to have it continue to expand. At some point perhaps were going to have to consolidate in some respects fewer of the original congregations, maybe? Being not specifically involved with that, I have not a real idea as to what could happen. But I would like to see whatever ongoing at present to be expanded and continue. Maybe with the various religious schools that we have, that’s the beginning. That is making the difference right now. We are encouraging the families to take part in religious activities not just public schools, and I think that’s a positive.

Fuks: Well, Pauline, thank you very much.
GOLDSTEIN: You’re very welcome.